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Admitting the need for assistance — and accepting it — isn’t easy for people as they age. So, how will you know when your aging parent needs help at home? One thing is certain: Mom and Dad aren’t likely to be the ones who tell you.
Seniors have a strong desire to remain independent and retain control of their own lives for as long as possible. Typically, an older adult will downplay or hide any issues they’ve been experiencing until an accident or sudden decline in their health makes it plain that they need assistance. Since adult children are often unable to participate in making care decisions before a crisis takes place, the added stress of an unexpected hospitalization or fall complicates things even further.
Want to avoid being caught off guard? Start regularly monitoring your parent’s physical and mental abilities (ideally in person), encouraging proper legal and financial planning, and researching long-term care options. These steps will ensure you’re prepared should your loved one begin to show signs of needing help.
Signs your elderly parent needs help
Look for these common indicators that an older adult may need help at home or an increased level of care.
Difficulty performing activities of daily living
Bathing and grooming
Dressing
Toileting
Continence
Walking and transferring (e.g., moving from the bed to a chair)
Eating and drinking
Changes in physical function and appearance
Noticeable weight loss due to poor diet, and/or difficulty cooking, eating, shopping for food, etc.
Wearing soiled clothing or dressing inappropriately for the season/weather due to difficulties dressing
Poor personal hygiene and unpleasant body odor as a result of infrequent showering or bathing
Unkempt hair, untrimmed nails, or poor oral hygiene, indicating a noticeable decline in grooming habits and personal care
Bruises, wounds, or other marks on the body that could indicate falls or changes in mobility
Noticeable burns on the skin that could indicate a senior is experiencing problems cooking
Changes in behavior and mental status
Lack of drive or motivation
Loss of interest in hobbies and activities
Difficulty keeping track of time
Failure to return phone calls to friends and family members
Changes in mood or extreme mood swings
Increased agitation
Verbally or physically abusive behaviors
Changes in sleep patterns (e.g., insomnia or sleeping more than usual)
Neglecting household responsibilities
Inability to independently complete instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs)
Changes in household cleanliness and organization
Extreme clutter or evidence of hoarding
Stacks of unopened mail, late payment notices, or bounced checks
Unpaid bills, calls from collectors, or utilities being turned off
Spoiled food that doesn’t get thrown away
Little or no fresh, healthy food or overall low food supply
Stained or wet furniture or carpet
Urine odor in the house, which may indicate incontinence
Cookware or appliances with noticeable burn marks could indicate food has been left unattended while cooking or reheating
Failure to maintain outdoor areas with landscaping, snow removal, or garbage collection
Signs of unsafe driving (e.g., new dents or scratches on their car)
Unfilled prescriptions
Changes in cognition, memory, and judgment
Forgetfulness (e.g., forgetting to take medications or taking incorrect dosages, missing appointments, misplacing items)
Increased confusion
Loss of reasoning skills
Consistent use of poor judgment (e.g., falling for scams or sales pitches, giving away money)
Difficulty performing familiar tasks
Frequently getting lost when walking or driving
Repetitive speech patterns
Inability to complete sentences
Impaired word-finding ability
Changes in personality or behavior
Poor personal hygiene and/or wearing the same clothes over and over
Inability to recall names of familiar people, objects, or places
To continue, Read: Early Signs of Dementia: When To Be Concerned
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